EC Blog – If a Horse Show Girl Buys A New Felt Hat

By Sarah Mapp Cullins, mom to Emily Cullins with My Midas Maserati, pictured above.

 

If a horse show girl buys herself a new felt hat, she will ask her Mama to buy her matching chaps.

If you buy her matching chaps, they won’t actually match and you will send them back several times until you get the right pair.

If you buy the right pair of matching chaps, you will realize that she does not own pants that are the right shade of blue to wear under those chaps.

If you buy a horse show girl the pants that match the chaps and the new felt hat, you will realize that the 3 inches of boot toe that stick out from under her chaps and around her stirrups is clearly not the right color.

If you notice the boots are not the right color, you will have to buy her white boots and blue boot paint. She cannot help you paint them because she might get paint on her hands and she cannot show with blue paint on her hands and you waited to the last minute to paint the boots. So, you will paint the boots, probably at midnight on a Friday.

If you paint a horse show girls’ boots the perfect shade of blue to go with the new felt hat, pants and chaps, she’ll try the outfit on and you will think she looks beautiful, but her shirt isn’t fancy and sparkly enough for the horse show she wants to go to next. So, you’ll buy her a shirt that sparkles brighter and costs more than your wedding ring. And at this rate may last longer than your marriage when your husband finds out how much money you just spent on show clothes.

If you get a horse show girl the perfect fancy sparkly shirt that goes with the new felt hat, matching chaps, perfect pants and newly dyed boots; she is going to need a new saddle blanket to pull the outfit together. So, you will carry her matching belt (did I mention you bought her a matching belt?) around in your purse to all the tack stores within 100 miles to find the saddle blanket that pulls the outfit together.

If you buy a horse show girl the saddle blanket that pulls it all together, sparkly shirt, matching chaps, perfect pants and newly painted boots; when you get halfway to the horse show she’ll realize she forgot her hat can containing the new felt hat that she bought for herself.

If the horse show girl forgets her new felt hat you will turn around and go back and get it. For Pete’s sake the kid cannot show without a hat.

To all the horse show mamas of little or adult girls, may your wallets and marriages last the next show season.