Back Gate Behavior- Horse Show Mean Girls

EC Blog by: Allyson Hicks

Back Gate Behavior… Taming the Horse Show Mean Girl in all of us

There are some days when I should keep my mouth shut and my pencil and paper way out of reach, and today is probably one of those days. I want to talk about horse show mean girls (guys too). I had a little cry yesterday about this and that, mostly related to the horse world, and I had to sit in my car and decide if I was going to ‘pony up and ride’ or drive home and cry some more.

There is a mean girl hiding in all of us, and I have seen and heard her at the back gate. She usually appears when we leave the show arena after a class where things didn’t go as planned. She says things like, “What HAPPENED to your horse in that class?”  or she might give free advice… that really isn’t’ free unless you needed to feel a bit more demoralized.

Sometimes, it’s an accidental slip, but you’re so busy tending to your own horse that you don’t have time to apologize to your fellow rider. We all know what happens. You’re pretty embarrassed by what you said, and your fellow show buddy has been rubbed the wrong way. Now, when you see each other, you smile casually with fangs barely retracted. Then, don’t forget she told her barn buddies what happened and, of course, you told your barn buddies too….

My mean girl is pretty quiet; you will rarely hear her. However, she speaks to me all the time, especially when I’m in the warm up pen and I see all of you with your perfect horses and beautiful clothes. She whispers that I don’t belong. She reminds me that I got in your way at the last show and that you remember.

In the show pen, she keeps up a steady chatter about what might go wrong and what did go wrong. She prevents me from being in the moment and riding every stride. I think that’s what makes those great riders and trainers great; they ride every stride. Somehow they’ve managed to silence that mean girl inside. That’s a true winner, that’s a horseman, and that’s what we should all strive to be.

I want to ride every stride. I want to be a friend to my fellow competitors, and I don’t want to be that mean girl to myself to anyone else.

Oh yea, by the way, I did ‘pony up and ride,’ and it ended up being just a fine day after all…..

Until Next Time,

Ally Hicks with No Fun Being Good